Archive for November, 2010
Patience or Impatience, How do YOU Live?
The meaning of Patience in the dictionary is:
Endurance, staying power, tolerance, lack of complaint, persistence, fortitude. Patience is the state of endurance under difficult circumstances, which can mean persevering in the face of delay or provocation without acting on annoyance/anger in a negative way; or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties. Patience is the level of endurance one’s character can take before negativity. It is also used to refer to the character trait of being steadfast. Or which you can wait for things.
Some quotes about Patience I found:-
“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.” ~Mac McCleary
“Patience is the ability to count down before you blast off.” ~Author Unknown
“Patience: A minor form of despair disguised as a virtue.” ~Ambrose Bierce
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” ~Franklin P. Jones
I have come to believe that Patience is not any of those things. There is a perception here that Patience requires effort, that it is hard work! That it is connected to time. And I believe it isn’t. Patience is effortless, easy, serene. Patience waits for no Man, it just is.
As a Kid I was always told BE PATIENT, along with some other sayings like, “All good things come to those who wait”. I was always dreaming of what was coming in the future, like Christmas, Birthday, the holidays etc. I had no concept that I was being Impatient, I just wanted the good things in life, the excitement as opposed to the mundane and ordinary, like doing my chores, going to school etc!
If I was lying around in the grass watching clouds and playing in the fields, I was told to do something constructive, to stop wasting time.
Wasting time was not encouraged in my house. “Empty hands make idle hands.” – Find something to DO! So as a Kid I did a lot of chores and dreamed about being rich. I read a lot of books, coz that was considered ok, you were not lazy when you read, coz anything to do with expanding your knowledge was acceptable.
Being told that you have to wait for what you perceive to be Happiness, gave me a belief that ‘happiness’ was always one step away. That in TIME I would have all the things I wanted. Reading about far off lands and things that other people did, gave me a belief that “happiness happens to other people, not me.” They didn’t have to wait, they were already living happiness.
Patience was never explained properly to me as a Child and I never really learned it as an Adult either, not for a long long time, it took Patience to Learn Patience J
Paul Sweeney Says ; “How can a society that exists on instant mashed potatoes, packaged cake mixes, frozen dinners, and instant cameras teach patience to its young?” ~ and if you take that even further to the convenience of mobile phones, instant messaging, GPS, Credit Cards, Internet, fast food, a whole generation is all about Instant Gratification, they don’t have to wait for much these days and still there is impatience!
I grew up impatient, and full of curiosity about what I didn’t have, didn’t know about and didn’t do! I didn’t know that it was masking the fear, that I would never be good enough, that those beliefs and concepts from childhood were actively sabotaging my finding happiness. Beliefs were born that I always had to work for it, Wait for it.
So as an adult, I learned some lessons about Patience, planting seeds, ideas and waiting for them to be born into the world, sometimes waiting patiently for Universal Timing, sometimes struggling against it with all my might. Sometimes white knuckling (holding on) so tightly to what I believed should be happening and growing more inpatient by the day, and not understanding myself and then in despair, letting go, which would finally allow it to manifest. I spent so much time being in my own way and believing I was being Patient!
It wasn’t until I went to India, that I began to really see Patience in Action. Really get an understanding of what Patience means. In India the TIME consciousness is different. They simply do not measure importance of things by Time. We have an example of this just a few short weeks ago with the Opening of the Commonwealth Games. The rest of the world was up in arms, impatient and angry at India for not having everything ready a month before the Commonwealth Games. There was outrage and India just told us to be Patient, it would be ready, it was ok. J
And it was ok, by Indian Standards anyway. India doesn’t seek to impress with materialistic illusions, India knows everything happens when its meant to.
In India, I was fascinated by the amount of Men who appeared to be sitting around, on the side of the road, chatting and literally doing nothing! India is a hive of activity and yet there is little going on. It’s the noisiest place and yet there is a peace so sublime. The traffic is crazy and yet everything flows. There is no Road Rage, and minimum traffic lights & rules, and the traffic just flows. Its like a symphony, a river, a natural flow. It is the physical manifestation of action from the Heart of Patience.
There is so much JOY in the faces of those who have nothing. They are not patiently waiting for another life, they accept and love the one they have. They are grateful.
In India you accept what is and love what is. We in the west are so in control of everything and so controlled by everything, believing that Time is of the utmost importance and that if we stick to a Time-Line that somehow we stay in control. That we are following the Rules. We also want it now! And yet know nothing about the Now!
We often enter conversations without listening to other people, our mind is already thinking ahead to “what’s for tea” or what’s next?
If we are stuck in traffic we get impatient, because we are gonna be late for work, and being late is triggering whatever beliefs we have about ourselves or what other people will think of us! it will mess up the day, we will be behind or upset someone else or whatever it is we are creating drama about. The truth is we are just having a pointless conversation with our minds, about what may or may not happen, and all that’s happening is that for the moment we are stuck in traffic. So instead of taking the opportunity to breathe and take notice of our surroundings. We get impatient. We often drive to work without seeing anything at all of our surroundings. We are totally Unconscious to the beauty that is everywhere. Do you know how many beautiful birds you can see at McDonalds? If you look at the cloud formations and the colours in the sky, and the trees, they are forever changing. There is a reminder in nature everywhere you look, of the seasons, the rhythm of life and the peace available to you.
In India, It was tough to let go of control in the first few days, I gave myself a headache trying to hold on to what was supposed to be, … my suitcase fell apart, it was taped up and I couldn’t get another one for 2 weeks. Nothing was on time, or worked properly…The power went out, the power went on, the shower water was hot, the shower was cold, I kept losing things and finding them again a few days later, everything was contrary to my beliefs and concepts, it was so wrong..…. and then just like that I couldn’t fight it anymore and I just surrendered and began to trust. Trust that everything was happening as it should, Trust that I had it right, Trust that there was nothing for me to do, Trust that all was well. Trust that my suitcase would turn up. I let go of my expectations, my judgement of myself and others, and India itself, and I lived in the moment, I found a peace so sublime, that it has stayed with me even to this day. I gave myself permission to DO Nothing, and in me DOING Nothing, everything got Done.
One day in the trip, I lost my Yoga Mat, they were a very special gift given to us by Brandon and Kevin and we used them everywhere we went. This day I had put my Yoga Mat down whilst we were in Satsang and then afterwards it was not in the place I had left it. When I couldn’t find it, I can remember thinking Oh I wonder where it could be, and then……. It will turn up! And if it doesn’t well that’s ok. When we got back to the hotel, I heard my name called from across the Lobby and there was a Trainer with my Yoga Mat.
In the past I would have stressed out so badly I would have been so impatient and so rude and angry to myself and others, demanding that someone Do something. I laugh at this picture of myself now, and yet in the past, when in impatience, I didn’t recognise what a tool I was being. I was so caught up in my own justifications, my importance, my need to get it right now.
Coming home to Oz, my life turned upside down! My income dropped significantly, my business partner and I separated our business and went our separate ways. My Family dynamics changed, I was a Grandmother, My relationships changed, I opened myself up to love a significant other, to be in business on my own, to put myself fully out there, like I never had before. I started a whole new path, that I had not trodden before. Patience became a doorway for me to become aware of my EGO patterns, my concepts, my fears.
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions” “Live your questions now, and then even without knowing it, you will live along some distant day into your answers.”
And so in conclusion I have discovered that the meaning for Patience to me is:-
Living in Present time, surrendering to what is, having no expectations, believing in myself and my purpose, letting go of timing and control, opening myself up to love and experiences, having awareness of my drama and catching myself out. In living Patience, it makes room for silence and in silence, I hear my soul, my spirit, my very essence calling me forth to be born into every second, every precious moment, every new discovery of myself. I become a drop in the ocean that is part of the whole that brings forth the spirit of a New Earth. I trust and follow a very different path, to the one of Impatience. Guided by grace and my spirit, my life unfolds perfectly.
“Life is not about waiting for the Storm to pass, its about Learning to Dance in the Rain.” And in that joy, expressing and creating miracles. That to me is Grace expressed as PATIENCE.